My Thirteen Reasons Why
by The Lost Writer's Soul
Summary: Clays world was turned upside down when Hannah Baker committed suicide. Now, he is in the same boat. Life isn't easy without Hannah. Will he go through with it, or just let go, and accept her death? Rated M for ideas and language. Please Read and Revie
1. Cassette 1, side A

Hi People! Im back for the count, and I am typing as much as ever! So, to start this story off, I want to give you a little background incase you haven't read the book Thirteen Reasons Why. So, this guy named Clay finds a box of tapes on his porch. He puts the 1st one in, and discovers that they are from a girl who killed herself two weeks earlier. Her name was Hannah Baker. On the Tapes, you find out the 13 reasons she killed herself. So I am not gonna give anything away,

except that I don't own the book Thirteen Reasons Why,

or any of the characters.

Enjoy.

Thirteen reasons why she died. That's what her tapes said. I was one of them.

That's right. Was one of them.

Until I killed myself.

My name is Clay. I was a part of Hannah Baker's list. The reason she killed herself. The reason she committed suicide. She is the reason I committed suicide. Not because of the fact that I felt guilty. Which, I did. But, it was because I loved her. When someone you love dies, what are you suppose to do?

There's a list. Its called the 5 stages of grief.

1. Denial.

2. Anger.

3. Bargaining.

4, Depression.

5. Acceptance.

I went through three of the stages before my death. They weren't in order, but I wasn't sure how to explain why I decided to do suicide..

Until I decided to take Hannah's lead. I convinced Tony to lend me the same equipment, saying mom wanted to document a segment of her life. He fell for it too.

I sent the tapes to all the other 12 people, but I added one more. My family. They deserved to understand why I did this.

I sat in my garage, on my workbench with the recorder in my hand, and a tape in the recording station.

_Hannah Baker. A girl I loved who committed suicide almost a month ago. A girl I'll never forget. I don't want to sound like a hopeless romantic, but that's what I am. I'm in love with a dead girl, who I decided not to live without. So, to all of you that killed her, I'm sending these tapes. These 13 reasons why I killed myself._

_I was left a shoebox on my porch one day. When I opened it, I was surprised to discover that there were 7 tapes, as I am sure the 8 people before me were. Mom, these were the tapes that I asked you to bring to Rosie's Dinner that one day. When I listened to them, it was Hannah Baker who talked, who admitted what had happened to her. So, when you receive these tapes, skip over me. I'll be dead anyway. But, these are going to go in the order of her reasons. So, Mr. Porter, send this to my family. Since, I'm guessing that is going to be hard on you. Its what you deserve._

_My family of the other hand, doesn't deserve this. The only reason I'm committing it is because I can't live without my Hannah._

_So, to begin my first tape, do I have to remind you who was on the 1__st__ tape?_

_Incase you forgot, Justin Foley. Hannah's first kiss. Jessica's first rape. For those of you that forgot that horrible story, let me remind you what had happened. Justin, you kissed Hannah at that red rocket. But, what else had happened there? Nothing. But, you were a part of the reason she drove herself to suicide. I could have been there for her. You could have been there for her. If we both saw it, it could of ended with us. But, we didn't._

_You started the rumors. That she wanted to touch you. We all fell for it. I fell for it. I feel guilty for falling for it. But, its not her fault. She died for nothing. All starting with you._

_I die for a different reason. I am going to die to be with her. I'm going to die, to be with the girl you basically killed. The snowball effect. If you didn't start the rumors, Hannah probably wouldn't of ended up on Alex's list._

_Yes, Alex is next. Not yet though, I'm not done with you yet, Justin. Your rumor started a landslide, and when that happened, Hannah's life was turned upside down. So was mine. I am left without Hannah. How does it feel Justin? To know that you killed Hannah?_

_Turn the Tape over for more._


	2. Cassette 1, side B

So, you still with me, well, I'm going to let YOU say the words.

Judge: _, please step onto the podium.

*_ steps onto podium*

Police Guy: Do you swear to say the who truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God?

*_ clears voice*: I do.

Lawyer Guy: Do you agree that Give A Kiss and Say Goodbye does not own any characters or the book Thirteen Reasons Why?

_: Yes.

Me: *Slams hand on counter* Your honor!

Judge: Ruling stands. Give A Kiss and Say Goodbye does not own any of the items we discussed. Court is out of session.

Cassette 1, side B

I take the tape out of the recorder, and swallow the lump in my throat. I almost started crying when I was finishing recording part one, out of the thirteen. I felt pathetic, but I had released a lot of my anger. I sat there, waiting to get my courage up to continue on, and say my next part. I knew people would basically say I was copying what Hannah had said, but what she had said stuck, and I blamed them all for her death. I had hoped that they all would of became better people after Hannah's cassettes, but they had stayed the same, non of them changing.

So, I had taken it as my liberty to get them to change, and to do it after I died, showing them that the snowball effect continued, even when they couldn't tell. I wiped away the tears, and turned my tape over. In red marker, I wrote 2, like I did on side 1. I slid it in, and begun to talk,

_So, Alex, how does it feel to know you were next? Grateful that you were the second one, so that you didn't have to wait to here about you? Or mad that Hannah and I both agreed you should be on these, and her, tapes? You were probably the one that affected her the most beside Justin. Seriously, did you think no one would care about your list? I know that you made another one._

_So, why?_

_Why do it, when you saw what it did to Hannah?_

_I'll tell you why. Because you don't care. About Hannah, anyone, in that case. Did you realize that 4 of the 13 reasons Hannah killed herself appeared on your list? Jessica took Hannah's place as Hottest Ass in the Junior Class. Ryan was the guy with the best hair. Courtney got the best lips category._

_Who was that last person, Alex?_

_Do I have to mention the name? All of you, listening to these tapes, do you realize that my name was on it? Or was I just the other guy who was suppose to get her tapes? Oh, Clay, What category were you picked for?_

_Do I have to answer?_

I paused the recorder, forcing myself to get back under control. I sighed, and picked up the one picture I had of Hannah. Her, smiling, with Courtney. I took it from Rosie's after I made sure everyone saw it. In fact, I copied the picture, and slid it into every of the other 10 students lockers. I slid one into mine, to make it look like I didn't do it. I also had put one on Mr. Porter's desk. I hoped it would force them to think of her, and what they did.

I didn't succeed.

I turned back on the recorder.

_Do I have to answer? _I asked again softly. _I guess I do._

_I was put under the category of best dick._

_Thanks Alex._

_It made me think of how Hannah was qualified as best ass. So, if you use the list as a way to get back at everyone, was I voted best dick because I punched you the next day I saw you? After I finished the tapes?_

_I guess so. And that kind of dick move makes me want to go to your house and punch you again. And it IS an option._

_So Alex, do you get the idea of the snowball effect, or does another person have to commit suicide for you to finally understand?_

_I guess I do._

_So Alex, are you ready for your consequences? I did make another set of these tapes. And this time around, the same rules apply. So, I hope you had a nice trip down memory lane Alex. Cause I want you to remember her. The girl who died because of you, along with the guy who is killing himself soon. Or should I say, did._

_Alex, do you know how much your list effects me now? All my friends are now saying I'm perverted, and that I use my dick. A lot. So did you mean to give me the same reputation that you gave Hannah? If you did, than it probably is a huge trip down memory lane._

_Put in the next Cassette Alex. In fact, why don't all of you go head and put in the next tape._

**Sorry for this Authors note, but I am not getting any feedback, and I need to know what needs changed, or what is confusing. Thanks ya'll, and please R&R**


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